Best moment of my long weekend so far was realizing that I’ll never fit in anywhere, and thus am at home everywhere.
“And the point of great writers like [Oscar] Wilde is that they make that invitation to you; they welcome you”. - Stephen Fry
(Source: stephenfryed, via didyoueatallthisacid)
It sucks when someone you have feelings for doesn’t share those feelings; it happens to women all the time, too. We hear “I just want to be friends” and “you’re like one of the guys” and “you’re like a sister to me” just as often. But you’ll never hear a woman complain that guys just don’t appreciate a Nice Girl because we’re taught it’s our own fucking fault when we’re rejected—we aren’t pretty enough or thin enough or sexy enough, we weren’t sexual enough or were too sexual, we put out too much or too little or too soon or not soon enough, we didn’t wear our hair the right way or our skirt the right length, we’re “too tomboyish” or “too butch” or “too feminine”, or we’re “not their type”, or we’re otherwise not good enough in various ways to entice the man to grace us with his affection.
But when we’re not interested in someone, we’re vilified. We’re the bitch that lead them on, the bitch who let them buy us dinner but didn’t want to date them, the bitch who doesn’t appreciate a nice guy, the bitch they were nice to and then got nothing in return from.
And, frankly, fuck those people. Showing interest in me, being friendly with me, getting close to me, or eating a meal with me (even if they paid for it) doesn’t obligate me to open my heart or my legs. And anyone who doesn’t appreciate my friendship sure as hell doesn’t deserve my love or my pussy.
DICAPRIO: Honestly, it was so bizarre. I just didn’t work for a couple years. I think I did one small cameo? [Looking at Kate]
WINSLET: You did [Woody Allen’s] Celebrity.
DICAPRIO: Then I did Man in the Iron Mask, but that was before Titanic had been released. I think?
WINSLET: Yes, you did Man in the Iron Mask and then you did Celebrity.
DICAPRIO: Thank you, Kate! [Laughing] I think it’s hilarious that I need to ask her.
WINSLET: May I? [Reaching over and rubbing her finger over DiCaprio’s nose] You’ve scratched the top of your nose! Oh, no, we’re literally doing everything we said we wouldn’t do.
DICAPRIO: I know, this is a little too cute. It’s like out of one of those —
WINSLET: Don’t say it!
DICAPRIO: — one of those scenes from When Harry Met Sally… with the old couples. ”And I met her in the park in 1992! And she was…” ”Eating a hot dog!” ”And I was scratching my butt!”
WINSLET: Oh, my God, and look at me fussing over your face. I’ve literally turned into a combination of your mother, your sister, and, I don’t know what, your wife!
"On that note, here are my tips to all Vancouverites and city dwellers in general on how to feel less alone in the world….and maybe even connect with strangers (including that lovely lady or gentleman on the bus, at the bar or wherever).
1.) Get out of your house and/or your car and walk - it is hard to connect with people and nature in the privacy of your home or personal automobile. Walk the streets of your city, hang out in its public spaces, spend time in local shops and restaurants. Before you know it, you will probably connect with someone - even if it is just a smile, eye contact or a few words.
2.) Be present - you may be out and about in the world, but if you are not present - observing your surroundings, listening to the sounds and feeling your feet on the pavement - you aren’t going to even notice the people around you.
3.) Empathize - it may sound clichéd but instead of seeing that slow person walking in front of you as a nuisance, remind yourself that you are not an island. Every person out there in your way is a human being just like you with fears, desires, pain, and joy. We are all in this life together, so be patient and try not to think you are above any one.
4.) Look at people, not your damn iPhone - Twitter is amazing. All of your cool little phone apps are amazing. But, they don’t replace human contact. I am always surprised when I walk the streets of downtown and look at people and smile. Some smile back, but many look away as if I am breaking the rules of normal Vancouver behaviour, which leads me to my next suggestion….
5.) Smile - this is very important. Sometimes when I find someone that looks unhappy, I try to smile at them or send positive thoughts their way. I don’t know if they can tell or not, but I do believe that we all give off energy - good and bad. If you have positive energy, it shows. You come across as more open and people will want to talk and connect with you.
5.) Small talk - I am not a fan of small talk and I’m not good at it either, but small talk doesn’t have to be inane. I recently had a girl in the line at Starbucks ask me if the gloves I was wearing were from Peru. I could have just said “no” and turned away, but instead I told her I got them from a recent trip to Joshua Tree in California and we ended up talking about her trips to Peru and her Peruvian boyfriend. Now we talk every time I see her in line for coffee in the morning. Voilà Simple connection made over a question about my gloves.
6.) Express yourself through your art or ideas and share it with others - I have met so many people in Vancouver just through having a blog about city life. The simple act of pursuing your creativity or passion - whether through music, art, ideas, writing, etc. - and sharing it with others can put you in contact with like-minded strangers you would have never known otherwise.
7.) Volunteer - find a cause that you care about in the city (public space, nature, poverty, saving the Waldorf from impending demise ….) and get involved in an organization that represents your interests. It is a pretty big commitment compared to my other suggestions, but it will definitely help you and your city feel like a more connected place."